Ep.1: Serbian Guys

We are Ivana and Maki, your hosts.

In this podcast, we discuss interesting details about Serbian language and culture from a

learner's and teacher's perspective.

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Hello everyone, good morning everyone.

Here is Ivana and here is Maki.

Good morning.

We are back.

Back to... Which season is it?

Sixth season. Season six.

I hope you missed us.

Me too. I hope we are not satisfied.

Yeah, that's a hard sentence.

It is quite hard.

I just said it.

I was like, oh, you have to think about is it he we are

women men say me

anyway we will write that down for you so that you can see it

wait so that's easy

which is

funny because it means nedosteyati is missing like to miss someone right but it's

like ne it sounds like i didn't miss you

uh okay so we have one episode

on that by the way oh my god i think they're gonna hate it

like too much grammar but we are starting with a bang because we're starting

it's

with a very interesting topic, I think.

And maybe people, many girls would like this episode.

You know what I thought?

So we invited many people, I mean, foreigners who moved to Serbia.

And most of them were men and they came for love.

But there are a couple of girls as well, international people who came here

for love.

I mean, for love of Serbian men.

So that's why I think we should also think of their perspective, what they

shared as well.

Yeah, we should.

I think we asked a couple of them like differences, cultural differences.

But I really yeah, I think it would be really nice to see, like,

how did you get with them?

How how was that process?

How was the flirting?

How are the so what attracted you to them?

so yeah in the in the episode of uh we have a lot to

talk about also we there is an american

girl and serbian guy yeah we talked about their love a little bit so

but not only foreigner versus

i mean foreigner with a serbian guy but serbian guys serbian women all the

relationships we are

gonna put on the table yeah yeah i'll tell you what i know it's

not that i know everything but

it's not that I dated so many guys but but I do have some

experience you know because I grew up

over there so let's see what I can how you know your friend's stories

you know your relative

stories so obviously you know more than me yes I do I do okay

do you want to start

okay so I want to learn first what is flirting in Serbian we

just use a flat Flartovanie.

Flartovanie. Okay. Flartovanie or, let me see.

You can say, if you want to say to flirt, flertovati or nabacivati se.

It's like nabacivati se.

Yeah. Actually, maybe I should write that down so that we remember to put

it in the script.

Okay. but yeah it's basically like if you want to say like don't flirt

with me you know don't you like okay i'm

writing this down i'm gonna ask you again okay okay good so

guys what are the first

of all the names the most common names male names in serbian i wrote

some of them down but there's so many and i think um there's like

uh so a lot of them are based uh obviously like like in other

languages they're religiously based right like um stefan no actually wait mihailo

mihailo that's

the one i want to say or also based on our history right so

we have like an emanici this is like the

the family tree like the family of rulers in serbia and we have this

new monument in belgrade right in front of the main train station so that

is stefan emania so a lot of these names keep being

repeated like uros milan and so on um we

have like uh marco that's quite a common one

nikola nikola milan dragon that one is also quite common

yeah it's so funny because in english sounds like dragon right like

but you know you can use a nickname for dragon draghi so

it's that also means deer yeah exactly so you can use that so it's

not such a bad name especially for a boyfriend exactly yeah luca quite a

quite a common one again i think religiously as well right um philip again

quite a general one um and many more many more okay yeah i know

so can we say that in general serbian guys are handsome so

i am from serbia so i would say

yeah i would say that is not personal taste but of course i'm used

to that right so it's like of

course i'm a bit biased but based on what other people would tell me

like guys and girls they would be like oh my god they're so tall

they're so masculine right and i think i don't they don't

really talk about their beauty like i think for men like usually you don't

say he's beautiful

you can i think we but like guys don't say he's beautiful it's like

you know you just look at like

he's like good looking good looking yeah and i think uh that serbian guys

just give that vibe

right like they're masculine there might not be some of them might not be

the tallest but they're still very masculine when they see them right so it's

like a very clear separation this is a man

so uh yeah i think uh there was a video about like i think

it's dating beyond borders i don't

know if you've seen that and they maybe rings a bell maria was there

uh alternative serbia and

the couple from zraninin as well uh black and ginger um and i think

maria actually said Oh, let me think.

yeah i think she said and some other people like the reason why maybe

it is like uh they are

considered as handsome is because we are really just like a mix of everything

so we are slavs but also we have that a bit of like middle

eastern but also we are mediterranean but also like you

know we're just kind of like everything i mean not really everything but like

a combination of yeah so and then you get like a mix of you

have to get everything you get blonde you can get ginger you get like

dark hair you get brown exactly everything yeah there's not one type

definitely I completely see the difference even in Kuruševac which is a very small

but mostly yeah you're right they are most of the time tall and town

they have this to me more like a slavic appearance i i see them

like that like uh the cheekbones are very visible and

they are very serious serious looking guy i don't see like laughing guys

around they're mostly like

sitting seriously when they like uh the outside yes as soon as you start

talking to them they're very friendly but like before talking to them they just

seem like very angry or serious or something

but they're always I think actually that's a very big part in Serbia like

you have to be able to joke so they are very jokey they love

humor and yeah so I think that's a very big part which is funny

because you just said that they look like they're like very standoffish right exactly

and then they surprise you with their jokes so that's one charm yeah and

they're not they're not that shy actually at least

like my experience they i don't remember like of course i can't really generalize

but because we

are so such social animals in serbia right like it's all about friends a

community and so on you just get a lot of practice you know and

and it's not that as daunting like to meet other people

or approach women or so on cool so we are we are going to

have confident guys here i mean for the

ones who are looking okay how about dating like

the rules in general are they like normal more common rules or serbians

have other kind of you know tradition or ritual in terms of dating who

starts the conversation who moves first and who says what kind

of questions i have traditional

it's very traditional like i don't even because even if like

i think it's maybe been a bit loosened up i'm guessing that some of

them do like being approached but it's too easy you know

what i mean like they need to approach they need to feel like a

man they need to feel like they're

making an effort they need to feel like they deserve it you know because

it's it's again it's

a bit contradict not a contradict but controversial but they do like women that

are also a bit more traditional in a sense that they are pure, haven't

been, haven't had a lot of partners.

I think, you know, you talked about confidence I don't really

know how their self-esteem like how self-esteem is like if they're secure in

themselves to be like

oh I can be with a girl who's had like I mean it's it's

it's a bit funny but even 20 partners

is a lot which is like nothing in today's society but it would be

like it would probably be like oh oh wait uh how can i compete

with that you know like they would they would probably just start

thinking about it so yeah they're quite traditional in that sense so they love

to approach i say do

they ask like or is it a kind of taboo to talk about boyfriends

ex-boyfriends and girlfriends or i think they want to know you know what i

think they would eventually ask i'm not quite sure but

and I don't know I don't have a lot of experience and it's not

that I talked to my friends a lot

about that but because when I was there and I was talking to my

friends about it then we were quite

new to this whole dating scene right so it was very easy because not

like we we had like one or

maybe two partners right so it's not like it was a big deal but

now thinking about it my friends and my my sister and so on we

we never had as like many partners so even if they shared I'm

that it's just not a big deal because it's not a big number you

guessing

know I see so but I think they

would eventually ask if they want to know the answer I don't know I

think that's individual

I think personally think I they it's better for them not to know if

it's a high number because I I think they would just haunt them.

Most of them probably.

They would feel so insecure, right?

um but yeah i think okay again this is

changing don't like i haven't been in serbia for like the past eight years

this is changing but i

think it's still like the same values and like uh yeah traditional kind of

thing okay when the relationship starts what is the most typical like present or

gesture like that we would expect from

a serving guy i don't see many florists around so i'm not i'm thinking

flowers is not the priority

but chocolate could be in my opinion so i there

are many things that serbian guys are good at but if they're not good

at presents and they i think that that is like a

they just haven't been really educated to think from

our perspective right i think that majority

of them just do what they think we would like and uh one of

them is buying flowers as you said not

maybe not as much but like chocolates or you know like it's just like

material things like that like chocolates let me just think what else could be

what did I get perfumes yeah perfumes definitely

perfumes I'm guessing like some jewelry if you I mean when I was there

I we didn't have money

for jewelry we were like students you know I can throw jewelry but yeah

but yeah jewelry can also

be good you know for a while it was like these you know these

two hearts that you get and then

you separate and then you carry one that was a thing before we continue

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For Valentine's Day, they would often order like pizza in the shape of a

heart.

it's like they just don't know and I think the society doesn't push them

to get a bit

more you know like come on everybody loves pizza that's not a bad idea

I would love that

I know I know but it's a but it's just like such a typical

I remember when my ex would give me

presents and I think the only present I was genuinely really like excited about

was that like a necklace with a what is it called oh my god

the heart shape with a heart half of the heart

um it was because it was just the well of course I love jewelry

but it was it was quite simple it was nice but it was um

it was just like a sign of him like really being committed and not

playing around and of course it's not like we're gonna get married or anything

just

like that it's just

that in at this moment you I care about you right but all of

the other things I remember he would like bring me flour like flour for

um

the 8th of March right like the which is coming soon yeah coming soon

and and he would just tell

me like yeah I bought this because like my mom told me like you

know and and for me even when

he gave me I would be like okay it's nice you know as you

said food is always nice I like chocolate so like that was always nice

pizza sharing we would order more practical yeah but I think really

too much you know like we didn't buy like clothes for ourselves like he

him for me or um yeah I think these were presents we were not

really big on presents and I think

I just think guys don't really like think about it that much I see

yeah okay they like to yeah keep things simple easy in the relationship in

the beginning yes and you know i think also

it really just depends on the person but i i mean it's a shame

that like experiences are not part of

the present right like uh uh like i would have to fight to go

on vacation with my boyfriend like

really because they are so tight with their friends and they organize everything with

friends right so it's like do you don't you want to be with me

their

like and like do the same like did you want to go on vacation

with me so um but I think that's again like where maybe they went

there a bit younger when you're like in your 20 late 20s and 30s

then you know you you you're like

very confident like um in yourself and then you actually pay a bit more

attention to a woman than you would when you were 20 right I see

but you're right I like normal I have friends here male friends and I

see that they go on vacation with their male friends for for a week

or for a

couple of days quite often and and interestingly they are not like mixed groups

they are only male

friends together they do hiking or skiing or you know going somewhere together yeah

yeah it just

depends also dating when you're married it's a different story when you're married right

but uh i have also married friends and they do the same thing they

go on holidays with their

male friends okay well it's not really a different thing than in turkey it's

a bit different yeah i

mean of course it's individual some people keep doing that but most of the

families i think they

would do things more together even if you go with your male friends they

are wise and kids will come

as well it's like a pack mentality you know what i mean like they're

like i have my group of guy friend and i'm i'm the part of

the pack and we do it together yeah okay can we call them macho

yes

definite answer no doubt yes they're very like mollet is macho right but like

they're very

a macho for me is like musc not muscular masculine masculine yeah masculine macho

definitely uh maybe a bit too going to the extreme right because again i

think um i mean they are right in the

sense that some women really want to feel that uh that they are men

that they are strong that

they can rely on them i think that's really important right um but then

we also need that

like a bit softer side right like we need them to be open to

conversation open to like new ways of thinking or to cooperating.

And sometimes

sometimes that just goes into like

i have to you know have control and be always right and things like

that so and uh act like a man and

um yeah so not a lot of metrosexuals i think that's how we say

like not a lot of those but yeah

even like as a friend i realized they really want to pay when you

drink coffee or when you go

like for lunch or dinner that's sometimes so and i i once saw this

move like don't even like i was

i was shocked like it gets to a point where you like you start

arguing literally you start arguing you know and you know when I was younger

when I was a teenager fine okay once or twice like they

could do that but now it's kind of like no it's fine like you

don't have to like I understand the

customs I understand all of that but let me also sometimes like treat you

it's fine I have a friend

and he I it's not even like oh no let me oh no it's

not like that it's like I'll get angry if you pay i'll get fucking